Table for Two

I want to continually thank you for all your prayers, which have been lifting me up daily. It is amazing and humbling to have so many people praying for me, who love me, and to see God answer prayers daily.

Today’s lab results show my kidneys are functioning much better…they are at the very top number of the “normal” scale in the tests. This is a major, major praise because the specific type of chemo they are using on me can cause kidney failure. The improved test results could be because they fed my body tons of hydration during chemo, flushing the kidneys; or because the stent is working; or because the tumor has released some of its hold on my ureter (the doctor said I could experience some shrinkage and tumor change with just this first session – amazing!) All I know is it was great news to see the test results today!

Last week was a long week, with 5 days of chemo, and the long commute to Fresno making every day long and drawn out. I focused on rest all day Monday, trying to recuperate, and Tuesday has proved much better. I almost felt “normal” for a little bit today. I’m not spending any time on my computer, which is very much the opposite of my daily life. It’s hard to concentrate on reading for long periods of time, and between the surgery site and discomfort from the tumor, it’s hard to find a comfortable position to sit at the computer. But Susan is sharing your messages with me and they are getting through, so keep sending sending them.

Today I experimented with a lower dose of Vicodin to see where my pain level was. I think it’s wacking my mood around, so I’m praying that I can cut back on it. My appetite and spirits have been much better today on a lower dose. Pray that I can get by on a lower dose, and that my tumor is shrinking so I’ll have less pain.

I want to share with you one of the songs that is bringing me much joy through this. Obviously, I’m not pining away with the unfound love portion of the song, but it’s an honest, real backdrop for the other profound truths it speaks. It talks to God as Jesus said we can, as Abba, or “Daddy”. What better promise can I have than to be able to call the Creator of the universe Daddy, and trust in the promise that, “You knew how You’d save me before I fell dead in the garden / And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt.” The full lyrics are below.

God bless you!


Caedmon’s Call – Table For Two

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin’ ’bout soccer
And how every man’s just the same
We made speculation
On the who’s and the when’s of our futures
And how everyone’s lonely
But still we just couldn’t complain
And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance

And now I’m just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I’m not gonna worry ’bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I’ll make it okay
I’m given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I’m so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it’s not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day’s been crazy
But everything’s happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
‘Cause You knew how You’d save me before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can’t plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

2 Responses to “Table for Two”

  1. denise jones Says:

    :and you know the plans you have for me, and you can’t plan the end and not plan the means”… i LOVE those words. God is so good, he always works it out for His glory, i LOVE that about Him. May He continue to have the BIG glory in your life.
    (when emilie was little-er and use to pray the Lords’ prayer, she’d always say, “for thine is the poser, and the ‘Big Glory,’ forever…”, “out of the mouth’s of babes” huh,i think she had it right!!)
    much love-denise

  2. denise jones Says:

    POWER! she said POWER!!!!! (not poser, the “w” and “s” are very close on the computer. God is SO NOT a poser. which is evident from these testimonies on your blog.

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