A punch in the face, or a kick in the gut…

Rich started laughing a few minutes ago, after watching Deadliest Catch, and hearing someone shout, “What do you want? A punch in the face, or a kick in the gut?”

The question seemed to apply to Rich’s situation.

On Wednesday, the doctor told us: You are not going to have chemo, but instead we’re signing you up for a scary surgery that is risky. This was the kick in the gut.

And then today, they say: We take that back…you ARE going to have chemo next week, which means we may not have to do the scary, risky surgery…but then again…maybe we will. That would be the punch in the face.

I have to emphasize that Rich was laughing at this…at the absurdity of this entire journey. You either laugh, or you cry…we’ve been through quite a bit in the past 3 years, and we laugh a lot more than we used to. It’s all just…odd…and unpredictable…and really, really annoying. To put it mildly.

It’s like driving down a straight highway at 75MPH, and then having someone suddenly switch your scenery to a snowy mountain road…and they expect you to slow down and navigate appropriately…to not crash, or have an anxiety attack and drive off a cliff, just because it’s there.

Or, as our Urologist said when we met with him prior to Rich’s original surgery, every time there is a change or new information, “It’s like taking a sip out of a firehose.”

As I mentioned in the last post, today we learned that Rich will have a fourth round of chemo. Chemo stinks. It’s odd to watch the nurses protect themselves with special gloves, and treat it like it’s so toxic (because it is!)…and then have them put it right into Rich’s veins. But it’s working. And we are blessed to live in the time we do, with the the medical care we can access in the US…and God obviously has a plan in this, so we are just trusting that this is another step along the road to a cure.

Today I was able to work for a few hours. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I was working on our website…catching up with staff members…planning…dreaming…and it felt like NORMAL LIFE! What a treat to have normal life, if even for a few hours.

This evening I started reading “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe” to Allison. On the first page, it talks about the four children who are the main characters in the book. They were sent to a mansion in the country, while London was being bombed during WWII. Obviously, this book is fiction, but it is a fact that thousands of families shipped their children away from London…to live with relatives in the country…for years at a time. It was safer to ship your kids away, then to keep them with you, under your care. I let that sink in.

I feel sad because I’m away from my kids during the days…but I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to be a parent during WWII, in London, under those circumstances. And there are countless children living under the weight of war in many parts of our world today.

Here is our reality: We will celebrate 14 years of marriage this year, and have spent over half of our life times with each other (we started dating when I was 15, and Rich was 16!). God is with us on this journey. Our kids go to a wonderful preschool…we get to be home with them at night, and on the weekends. Our city isn’t being bombed…and Oakhurst, California, is a safe place to live…a beautiful place to live, in fact. The cancer is responding well to treatment… And, you know…in the scheme of things, our lives are amazingly blessed.

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One Response to “A punch in the face, or a kick in the gut…”

  1. Laurie Binnewis Says:

    Susan,

    God has given you an incredible gift with faith and words. I am captivated by your posts…encouraged, inspired, prayerful and determined. Thank you for trusting the Lord with all your heart, that is evident. Rich and your beautiful children are blessed to have you leaking Jesus to them (and all of us) on a daily basis. Stand firm as we hold you up in prayer.

    Much love in Him.

    Laurie

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